ADD

So I wrote this post a couple months ago, and I guess I never published it. Oops. Lol


To answer the question that is now in everyone's mind, is Logan ADD?

I don't know. Alot of the time I feel like I am. I have trouble concentrating on one thing at a time. My mind wanders incessantly, and sometimes I think that's the reason I don't sleep at night.

If I were diagnosed, would that change anything? Not really. I would still have trouble focusing, I would still need something to do with my hands all the time. But somehow, it would make it easier. Easier knowing there is a reason. Easier knowing I'm not the only one who feels this way. Easier knowing that I might pass it onto my kids, knowing to look for warning signs in them. Easier just knowing.

I'm 19 years old, and I am a child. I jump from point to point in my mind without a path to follow as to how I got there. When talking with me, conversations are seemingly random, but I promise. I am always paying attention. Even if I tried, I'm not sure I could NOT pay attention. My mind follows everything around me. I couldn't work for about ten minutes yesterday because a fly was in the room. For my mind, that is a distraction every three seconds or so. Every time I hear or see the fly, my mind drops what it was thinking about. It immediately jumps to the fly. Where is it? How did it get here? Why won't it leave?

I have found the worst times for my mind are when I'm working. I have a routine at work. A routine very very simple to follow. Unfortunately, that leaves my body on auto-pilot, and my mind free to wander. My mom was off work yesterday, and got a small sampling of how seemingly random my train of thought is. I would text her things with no explanation, simply because it was what I was thinking of. Sometimes I have no explanation myself. I have to ask myself, "Why did you think of that?" and more often then not, the answer is simple. I have no clue.

So, during this time at work, I find small creative outlets.

I sing. That lasts about a song.

I make design plans in my head. I usually come up with one or two before my mind jumps again.

I organize paintball games. Those are always fun, but don't take enough energy.

More recently, I make stories out of remembered dreams. This one might be the book I have been waiting for.

And then, I don't know what to do. I get ridiculously bored, so I start the cycle over again. But it never goes anywhere. There is no end result. I need a destination. A goal. A 'point B' if you will.

So this is my challenge to you. If you read this post, I want you to think of a point B for my mind to concentrate on during the day. I need creativity, but I need results of the creativity for my mind to be satisfied. Comment or email, or text. Let me know what you think I could use to make my day less boring. Thanks! :)